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Finding Fatherhood Without a Father
A Review of To
Own a Dragon: Reflections on Growing Up
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In plenty of time for Father’s Day, Donald Miller delivers the perfect gift, especially for those who have no one to send a Father’s Day gift to. His latest book, To Own a Dragon, is a tribute to fatherhood written by a guy who grew up without a dad. This is by far one of Don’s most touching works and is a must-read for guys of all ages. For those who don’t have fathers or whose fathers have been so unapproachable they may as well have been absent, this book provides reassuring hope that one can find the piece that has been missing. For those who have fathers or who are fathers, To Own a Dragon provides a level of affirmation and inspiration that help us persevere in our sometimes thankless task.
Miller continues his semi-autobiographical reflections in this latest book, centering on a series of themes that draw us into his life where we catch a glimpse of his soul. The most valuable contribution that Don makes to Christian literature is a blistering honesty that bares his flawed soul to people who are relieved to hear an authentic voice amid the self-help psychobabble that has come to characterize most of Christian writing and preaching. He pulls no punches when looking in the mirror and gives us a glimpse into a process of spiritual formation that reflects experiences far more common than many of us are willing to admit. Don has the ability to tell his own story in such a way that his faults and failures are more endearing than irritating, largely because they are faults that many of us share or have shared at one time.
The opening chapter gives us a glimpse into Don’s early foray into journalism. With a self-deprecating style he tells the story of his first writing assignment, a guest editorial for the church’s youth paper. His first attempt was an “article about how everybody was stupid except for me and Dave, and went on to name the top ten most boring people at First Baptist Church.” Dave, the youth minister, working hard to find something worthwhile in the article, complimented Don on his use of exclamation points and remarkable punctuation. Miller writes, “And looking back, I believe it was. I’ve always been good at punctuation!” However, his first published article was about a talent show at the local school that demonstrated Don’s early compassion for the plight of Christians experiencing a bad time.
Don follows up in the next chapter by summarizing the book’s purpose in a single paragraph. He says, “It makes you wonder if just having a dad around…you were supposed to understand something, some idea God in heaven wanted to offer as a gift. Lately, I have been curious about what that something is, and whether or not a person could understand it even if his father took off.” He may not have found the definitive answer, but he does a masterful job taking us with him on a journey of discovery that leads us to some interesting conclusions.
I have always felt that my first job as a father is to teach my children about God. I never wondered what it would be like for someone who never had the opportunity to learn from an earthly father what it means to have a Heavenly Father. Miller gives us more than a glimpse, he pours out his heart in what could have easily been a maudlin pity party. Instead, he shows us the painful process of development but in a way that brings us along as willing passengers on a sightseeing trip. Little of what Miller says is new or revolutionary. Indeed, it is his statements of the obvious in such an engaging way that make this book so appealing. He isn’t here to teach us any formulaic lessons or give us all the answers. He is here to point out what he has seen along his way and for us to share in the experience of seeing things from his perspective. In this, he excels marvelously.
by Rick Presley
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